World cup jokes

[monitorlezard]

what is a german doing when he wins the world cup?
he is turning off the the playstation and goes to bed!
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A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that the there is a spare seat in between himself and the next guy.
"Who would ever miss the World Cup final?" Asks the man.
"That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away." Explains the guy.
"That's terrible, but couldn't you get another member of the family, friend or someone else to come with you?" Asks the man.
"No.....They are all at the funeral!"
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How do you put a cork back into a bottle of champs?
Ask an italian!
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What's the difference between Argentina and a teabag?
- The teabag stays longer in the cup
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Americans have complained that the World Cup competition
is being unfair to them . They say they are the only team to play Trinidad and Tobago on the same day, whereas no other team had to
play more than one match a day.

;D ;D ;D ;D

[Like them]

;D ;D

[ninja]

Something to fire up the Aussies!!

It is just before the Australia v Brazil Group game at the World Cup.
Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team-mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Australia. They're sh*t and we can't be bothered".
Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldinho goes out to play Australia by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Brazil 1 - Australia 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)".
He is beating Australia all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.
"Result from the Stadium "Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - Australia 1 (Viduka 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single-handedly got a draw against Australia!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Australia, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes!"

[calamityman]

hahahahahaha! did you think of that yourself? it seems pretty original to me.

[ninja]

Naah. A mate sent it over a few nights ago. Thought it was funny and would stir up the Aussies for the big match this weekend.

[calamityman]

the last win against japan didn't really create any ripple in perth. wonder if anyone else there actually cares? i was there when the socceroos qualified for the world cup last year and the next day? nothing. haha.

[ninja]

Only the soccer tragics :-) I was on an SQ flight coming home to Perth when the captain (an Aussie) announced we had beaten Uruguay to qualify. It sounded like the whole plane erupted and cheered. It was quite a moment to know that after 32 years, we scored an invite back to the world's biggest sporting fiesta. Even the old biddy sitting next to me almost choked when her dentures fell into her orange juice... hahaha!!

Funny thing is, the AFL boys are running scared that soccer will now undermine that code's popularity in Australia.

[calamityman]

that's the thing. they first need to understand that they've been supporting the wrong sport. australia could never be in the world cup in AFL.

and AFL is the third lowest football code around after rugby and before NFL and the only people who play it are w@nkers who couldn't make it in soccer and rugby.

i meant that tongue firmly in cheek.