Dear Abby

[oldmike]

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on
what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now
that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although
when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work,
you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she
always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off,
as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she
wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what
time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never
touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think
deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she
went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to
the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the
whole street when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed
that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the
dealer?

Thanks,

Bob

[Mathilde]

Oh my god! How disappointing! ;D

[hibiscus]

Dear Abby,

When I turned my television set on two days ago, the cable set-top box didn't come on. I tried everything - changed the power socket it was plugged into, unplugged and plugged everything back. Nothing worked. Then I called Starhub and had to hold for a good while alternately listening to their funny music and being told my call was important to them. Finally a nice man talked to me and promised to send a technician to look at the box and replace it if necessary.

I don't know what to do with myself if there's no TV so I went out for a walk. After I had walked down the street a bit I noticed a man walking a few metres behind me. I felt a little nervous and slowed so he could pass me. But he slowed too, and stayed behind me. Then I speeded up, and when I looked back he was still the same distance behind, which means he had speeded up too. He wasn't looking at me, though, he was looking away into the distance.

Then I went back home and decided to go to bed after a supper of Maggi mee.

The next day when I boarded the MRT to go to work, I noticed the man again, in the same carriage! He was looking away from me this time too. And he got off at the same station that I did. I was so nervous that I quickly got on the train again, alighted at the next station, and caught the train back - as a result I was late for work. But my boss is good-natured, and didn't say anything.

That evening I didn't go out but stayed at home. Unfortunately the set-top box was still not working, and the technician has not shown up even as I write to you. Do you think I should go to the pub?

Thank you,

Worried.

[mimi]

Dear Abby:
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.

I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

Abby, should I tell my fiancée what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?